


satellites: cynical

by hyperloop



Series: satellites [4]
Category: Original Work, Satellites - Fandom
Genre: No proofreading we die like mne, Other, also i didnt edit it harshly because i wanted to go easy on myself, at one point i just wanted it done, but its ok, i dont like this as much as phantasmagoria or tdbuata, it took wayyy too long to write bc i basically stopped over the summer, so here you go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 08:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12077451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperloop/pseuds/hyperloop
Summary: salem and his bud, peter, go on a pre-summer lunch date and then he fucks stuff up with cambria and has more questions about renegade. nothing new!





	satellites: cynical

**Author's Note:**

> i can't think of a logical reason why anyone would want to read this but hey

Satellites: Cynical

“Write a pretentious quote to go here later!” (author's note: please ignore this specifically, i'm scrapping this part for now.)

. . .

“Hhhhhhnnnnnnnggggggg…” Salem squeezed his pillow into his chest and swooshed his hair out of his face with his hands. Welcome to Sunday morning, Salem. But this was no ordinary Sunday morning. It was the last Sunday before school was out for the summer, not to mention a particularly humid Sunday. The air was moist and cruel outside, but his bed was cool and forgiving. This was the basis of his logic for what he considers his best decisions, such as the decision to stay in bed. “Well, guess I’m awake now.” He muttered sleepily.

The sun from outside shone down through the window in his ceiling, creating a rectangle of warmth on his bed. He rolled over and picked his phone off of his nightstand to check his messages. He unlocked his phone, hoping for something, knowing that there’s nothing quite as disheartening as waking up to no notifications. Oh look, one notification. Who’s it from? It’s Cambria! Big surprise.

[11:49 AM] circuit: <3

A heart emoji? Could she possibly have been any more vague? Still, Salem appreciated the gesture. But he had to respond with something before he forgot, which had become a chronic habit at this point.

[11:49 AM] circuit: <3

[2:06 PM] salem: ?

He checked the current time. 2:06 PM. Why. Sleeping late has always been a luxury, however he often found himself wishing himself to slip into a timeless coma in which sleeping half the day doesn’t rob him of half a day of potential activities. It’s not as if he saw himself outside frolicking in the sun, but he didn’t consider sleeping all day a day well spent.

Zoning out, he let the minutes slip away from him. He was still sleepy despite just waking up, his vision hazed and unfocused. Salem noticed a flash on the screen of his phone and snapped back in to reality. It was Peter messaging him! What could Peter have to say at this hour? He thought, as if it wasn’t a perfectly reasonable time for the average human to be awake.

[2:09 PM] Peter: hey

[2:09 PM] Peter: dumbass

[2:09 PM] Peter: you’re finally awake, lets go to wow chow or something

Wow Chow? As the somewhat ominous motto says, “It’s never too late for Wow Chow”. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure that he wanted to go on his lazy Sunday. He reevaluated his plans, figuring on having… nothing better to do. Sure, Wow Chow, why not.

[2:09 PM] Peter: hey

[2:09 PM] Peter: dumbass

[2:09 PM] Peter: you’re finally awake, lets go to wow chow or something

[2:11 PM] salem: Ok, I’ll be there in 30

For the first time in what had seemed like days, he sat up in his bed. He stretched his arms up and his legs out and took in a deep refreshing breath, giving him about 8 seconds of energy. He picked his glasses off of the nightstand and put them on his face. Salem debated with himself the idea of a shower. After heavy thought he decided he’d just comb his hair and roll with it. He threw on a t-shirt and some jeans and sat on his bed in front of the mirror. He sighed upon realizing how unfortunately messy his hair was. Whatever, it’s whatever, he convinced himself. He’s just going out with a friend. This is so extra. Oh man, he almost forgot his money! He grabbed a five and a few more ones from his cluttered nightstand. He slipped on his shoes and went downstairs to tell his dad that he was leaving.

“Oh, dad, I’m meeting Peter at Wow Chow.” He said, leaping downstairs. He was, thankfully, within walking distance of Wow Chow. If it were a few degrees warmer, he might’ve asked for a ride. He needed the exercise.

“Okay. Do you want me to pick you up?” “Nah, I can walk.” “Alrighty, have fun.” Salem opened the door as watched as the cool air from the house collided with the warm humidity outside, distorting what he saw in from of him, everything went bubbly. He groaned in the face of the heat, unwilling to do anything about it. He stepped out anyway, and down his sidewalk.

He walked through the neighborhood. Neighbors mowing their lawns or walking their pets waved to him. He smiled and waved back. As soon as he got bored of observing his surroundings, he began to think. One week until summer break. He had nothing particular on his mind, but something in the air during the season made him feel some sort of way. When he felt the warm breeze on his skin, it brought him back to the same time in his past years. Summer in his childhood, with his dad taking him to the public pool. Summer in his early adolescence, with him and Gale being held hostage at extended family parties from both sides. It was a feeling of freedom and solitude, yet a feeling of disorder. His days weren’t structured as they normally were. In a way, freedom to that extent is overwhelming for someone, even without a chaotic lifestyle that consisted mostly of sleeping and eating and questioning the nature of the universe. He would miss seeing Peter (among other acquaintances) regularly as the rest of their interaction falls upon activities outside of school, such at the one he was on now. There were a number of things he would miss and things that would be different, but it all was equally matched by a rigid sense of adventure.

He exhaled, choosing not to get ahead of himself. He wiped some sweat off of his grease laden forehead. Are we there yet? Almost there? No, not really. Keep thinking.

It’s been one week since Renegade visited for the second time. Since Renegade came and parted rather unceremoniously yet again, leaving him with more questions than he began with. He wondered about that robot like nothing else, as if its entire existence was some kind of savage riddle and Salem was a victim of a species with a different intellect. Sometimes he wondered if he was the butt of some brutal joke, but most of the time, no. He knew what he had was real and meaningful, and any ego, no matter how fragile, could get in his way. Renegade had flown away, leaving him in a parallel reality, that was the last he saw of it. Quite the bold move indeed. He TOUCHED it, its hair, its head, its mechanical arm. It was magical. It was phantasmagorical. He could live in that memory. He always felt as if his life was constantly shifting, a fickle teenager as he is. But that memory, that memory was now. And he couldn’t prove a single thing for his life. He thought about that. Why hasn’t he shared it with anyone? Maybe he kept Renegade a secret because there was no sane way to describe it the way he felt it. Maybe the reason, whatever it be, was selfish in intention, but he preferred not to think of himself that way. Whatever. He didn’t want to focus too much on it. He definitely didn’t want to put his friends and family on the back burner because of it. But could he trust them with knowing that he has strong feelings about a piece of metal from another world? Oh, he just didn’t know.

Oh great, we’re almost there.

He breathed heavily, thankfully lost in his thought enough so that he wouldn’t get to complain about the heat. He approached Wow Chow, a building with a showy, corny flair, and an unmistakable red and white checkered color scheme. It was what he’d consider unusually busy for a Sunday afternoon. Parking lot almost full, even. Families swarming the entrance, the occasional screaming child. He never favored entering buildings with lots of people. Given, he couldn’t stay bothered about it for too long. Some groups of friends stayed gathered around the benches in front of the face of the building. On one lone bench in front, there sat a boy with headphones around his neck in a thin jacket and jeans, and a shirt that Salem only vaguely recognized. His hair was a dark, rich brown and long enough to be pulled into a small ponytail. He had teeth and a nose good looking enough that you wouldn’t notice without having it mentioned to you, but would agree that they were good had they been mentioned. He was looking down at his phone, sometimes up at the talking guests, tapping his feet. This was Peter.

Peter looked up and smiled as he saw Salem jog-walking in his direction. He gave a lazy wave with his hand. “Hey!” Salem yelled. Peter stood up from the bench. “Dude, there’s like a birthday or something going on in Wow. It’s packed. But, like, do you still want a seat?” “Well, I’m already here. Birthday you say? Huh.” “Alright, I got five dollars, let’s do this.” They squeezed by the entrance and wormed into the building that smelled of household cleaners and melty cheese. They felt the air conditioning right away, shedding cool air onto their skin. The two looked around at the seats until they located a freshly cleaned, damp table out of the way of the action, ready to go, with two serving tablets on it. They sat down.

“God, it feels good in here… I don’t know how you can sit out there in your jacket like that.” Salem moaned. “Not sure either. But hey, it works. What do we wanna eat?” Peter asked. “Do you need to be home? I might want to take my time…” “Hey hey that’s fine, I’m just hungry.” Peter reached for his serving tablet, and scrolled through the display. Salem reached for his phone in his pocket and unlocked it, after doing which he determined that he didn’t know why. There is a point in each modern day conversation where it is clairvoyantly, almost telepathically decided that it is acceptable to use one’s own devices for another’s pleasure or convenience. Realistically, social convention has always had this point, one has to imagine. Substitute “devices” for, like, maybe a “book”. Or something bearing “news” of some sort. It is at this point that people think everyone’s interests become diverted. But he would rather say that this point was the point where the common interest comes together by bonding. To him, it was a lovely concept.

Salem swiped back and forth on his phone, no goal in mind, when he got a whiff of fries coming from the kitchen. His mouth watered as he remembered that he hadn’t yet eaten today. He laid his phone face down on the table and picked up his serving tablet, tapping away at the various options. “What’re you getting?” Inquired Salem, hoping to take some inspiration from his friend. “Probably chips and queso. Just get a burger and fries like you always do.” Peter was correct, Salem didn’t really know why he bothered skimming the menu. He dines here regularly, burger and fries are a classic favorite. He placed the order on the tablet. “I like the new tablet things here, I wonder if they’ll put the poor employees here out. Like, I’d rather just work at Blankets, Benches, & Beyond if I was gonna get paid to look like a fucking picnic basket.” Salem laughed at Peter’s comment. “Hey, didn’t Gale used to work here?” “Yea.” “Yea.” Crap, making smalltalk. Not a strong spot.

A waiter wearing a red and white checkered suit and a cheesy enthusiastic smile holding two glasses of icy water came towards them. “Alriiiiiight, you two gentlemen are the ones with the queso and the burger, right?” “Yes.” “Yes, sir.” They confirmed. “Here’s something to drink, I’ll be right out with your food.” He placed the waters on the table, glasses wet and dripping with cool moisture like rain on a window. Salem picked up a straw, and strongly considered blowing the straw paper at Peter. Alas, he did not. That didn’t seem like it would be well received. The water cooled his mouth and accentuated his own hunger. It bothered him a little, but it didn’t hurt.

With a buzz, Salem’s phone vibrated on the table. He picked it up, wondering which one of his chums was pestering him this time. He saw the notification from Cambria. Suddenly his heart palpitated. He felt anxiety bubble from his legs, to his stomach, to his chest, to his head. And he didn’t quite know why. He checked the message.

[11:49 AM] circuit: <3

[2:06 PM] salem: ?

[3:17 PM] circuit: what?

Confusing. When Cambria replied in a confused manner, she would generally demand clarity with a few sentences. Salem saw that Cambria was still typing, and let it happen.

[11:49 AM] circuit: <3

[2:06 PM] salem: ?

[3:17 PM] circuit: what?

[3:19 PM] circuit: Salem are you ok? you’ve been acting strange, like, distracted. i feel like i miss you. you know we can talk if anything’s wrong, right? you can tell me anything you want.

It came to mind instantly. Renegade. Which he’s never told anyone about aside from mere suggestion. Humans are weird. They get weird about certain subjects, ones that they call “secrets”. Humans tell these “secrets” to people that they “trust”. And these “secrets” will not fail to drive them absolutely nuts. It’s a fairly simple concept. You break that trust, they don’t tell you secrets anymore. He thought it was a little funny how a relationship can be founded among words that you’re not supposed to tell other beings, but who is he to judge?

He didn’t think of Renegade like that. Curiously, he felt as if he knew not a thing. Curiously, he continued to wonder about the robot. And he never felt the urge so strong to have someone else know about what was happening. Feasible candidates? Peter, Gale, Cambria, Dad, some other acquaintance of his that hasn’t yet become relevant. His attempt to casually converse with Peter about stuff of this nature wasn’t necessarily a smashing success. He honestly wasn’t sure what he should hold back anymore.

“Bleugh…” Salem grunted, in hopes of catching Peter’s attention. Peter looked up at Salem. “What’s up?”, he responded.

“Okay, so, like, you know Cambria? Th--” “That one internet friend you like?” “Oh, yes, her I guess.” “What about her?” Huh, Peter sounded interested so far. “She, like, right now told me that I was acting weird. Well, ‘strange’ was the word she used.” “I mean, I can kinda see where she’s getting that.” Peter looked down at the table as he spoke. “Okay, what does that mean, exactly? I’m not disagr--” The waiter walked to the table, food in hand. Peter looked up and smiled. “Alright gentlemen, one Chow Burger with a side of Fun Fries, and a serving of Chip n’ Dip. Enjoy your meal!!” He put the food in front of the boys. “Thank you.” “Thank you, sir.” Peter immediately grabbed a chip and dipped it in the queso, and took a bite. He made a grunt of displeasure when he realized that the dip still needed to cool off. He pushed his hair out of his face. Salem glanced down at his burger, and then up at Peter’s face. “What?” Peter laughed, as if sensing Salem’s eyes upon him. “You were saying…” Mmm, yea, okay, you being weird.” “Yes.” “I don’t fucking know, dude, like, you’ve been asking too many questions I don’t know the answers to, I guess.” And just like that, he felt a little bit funny inside. He picked up his burger. “Oh.” He responded. He took a bite. “And you’re, like…” Peter continued without warning. “You just seem distracted. I’m sure I’ve been the same way when I’ve got some other person on my mind.” He spit his words out so quickly and unsurely. “Oh…” He responded.

And maybe she’s right. Maybe Salem has been acting rather “strangely”, although he begged to differ. For the most part. I mean, who’s to say his behavior in the face of an enigma like Renegade wasn’t justified? Strangely. Acting strangely. He’s familiarized himself with the idea so much, it’s become true. Salem took another bite of his burger, unsure if a mouthful of lettuce, patty, and mediocrity could fill his insatiable yearn for self pity. It didn’t. He nibbled at his food, and watched Peter enjoy his chips. Peter continued to try and talk about entertainment and whatnot, but the rest of the engagement simply felt cloudy. Half of a burger remained on his tray. He sat still and unfocused.

“Well, this was nice, I think I’m gonna head home now.” Peter smoothed his hair, burped quietly, and slide his dip tray out of the way. “Oh, yea, alright.” “See ya, Salem. Thanks for coming.” Peter smiled and left the table, beginning his walk home. Salem put his elbows on the table and ran his hands through his hair, exhaling forcefully. “I don’t have the energy to walk home.” He said to himself through his emotional exhaustion. He picked up his phone and called his dad, who agreed to pick him up. He gathered his things and waded his way out of the building, sitting on the bench where he originally met Peter. He laid back and breathed in the warm air around him, calmly tapping his feet on the ground. Birds chirping, a slight breeze. His calmness slowly turned into boredom as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He reread Cambria’s message.

[3:19 PM] circuit: Salem are you ok? you’ve been acting strange, like, distracted. i feel like i miss you. you know we can talk if anything’s wrong, right? you can tell me anything you want.

Salem never wanted to be one to act out of desperation, but if there’s any time to do it, here it is. Kinda risky, the game he’s playing, but what fun is life without a risk factor?

[3:19 PM] circuit: Salem are you ok? you’ve been acting strange, like, distracted. i feel like i miss you. you know we can talk if anything’s wrong, right? you can tell me anything you want.

[4:05 PM] salem: There is something, yes, that I’ve been meaning to tell you

He felt his skin become warm and flushed immediately after sending it, and right then, his dad pulled up. “Sorry I took some time, I’m making pasta for dinner!” Salem’s dad yelled from his car. He got up and climbed into the backseat of the car. His vision blurred itself as he zoned out during the brief ride home, the unsteady bumps of the car shaking him up as he arrived.

When he got in, he fell on his bed and picked up his phone, his heart beating faster upon realizing that he kinda left Cambria hanging. Oops.

[4:05 PM] salem: There is something, yes, that I’ve been meaning to tell you

[4:05 PM] circuit: what’s that?

[4:06 PM] circuit: come on man, what?

And now, by the time the opportunity had presented itself, he wasn’t sure what he needed to say. But sitting there thinking about it in and out, thoughts weaving into each other, he chose to just type whatever came out of his fingertips.

[4:05 PM] salem: There is something, yes, that I’ve been meaning to tell you

[4:05 PM] circuit: what’s that?

[4:06 PM] circuit: come on man, what?

[4:10 PM] salem: I just dont know where we’re going. I dont know what you want, I dont know what I want. To be quite honest a lot of stuff has been going on in my life right now that I’m not sure that I’m ready to share. I think right now I would really like some space. Maybe I’ll have more to say later

Sent. Deep sigh. And now we wait. He didn’t quite know what he was waiting for. His phone rested on his chest, and he blinked some sleepiness out of his eyes, only to have the feeling creep back seconds later. He roughly massaged his face with his hands, reminding himself how he needed to shower, but finding himself unable to move. Unwilling, at the least. Blinking more under his hands and stretching out his appendages in his bed, he suddenly has given up on any effort to do anything of use, at least in the next ten or so minutes. He rolled onto his stomach and grunted softly, and before he knew it, his vision faded.

. . .

Salem was quite the active sleeper, for lack of a better label. He was unsure if he would consider this “sleep” at all, or just a cute nap. Either way, he wasn’t fully aware of his surroundings. Not just yet. He rolled over, flopping his arm on a hard mass next to him in bed with a thud. “Whaddafuh…” He mumbled to himself, smacking the object. Upon noticing that the object was larger and wouldn’t move with the slap of his arm, he sat up in bed. He recognized the figure the second he eyed it. “Hey!!... what?” He slurred on his words, not fully awake yet. He took his glasses (that he accidentally left on, not expecting the impromptu nap) off and wiped them down using his sweat stained shirt. “Ren… ever heard of knocking?” Guess who. The robot was face up on his bed, its legs stretching all the way to the end, and its arms across the waist, metallic and fleshlike fingers intertwined in the middle. Wearing the same outfit Salem originally let it “borrow”, however looking a little more beat up than last time. “I’m sorry, but I can’t be here long.” Hearing those words, Salem’s inflection shifted with annoyance to concern in an instant. His eyes widened. “What’s up?”

“I just said, I can’t be here long.” Back to annoyance. “I hear, but why is that?” Renegade got quiet, and kept its gaze with its big purple eyes at the window on the ceiling, through which you could see nightfall approaching. Its expression remained either neutral or sullen, hard to tell. “You’re not very good at keeping secrets, you know…” The boy said out of frustration. “Is honesty such a bad thing?” Renegade looked off at Salem, he couldn’t tell if it was seriously asking. He scoffed. “For a robot with no comparable check on human behavior, you make a decent argument.” Renegade looked away again. A few seconds passed of laying in bed, doing nothing but staring at whatever lies directly in front of them. Renegade sat up in bed, leaving its arms where they were at its waist. It stood up onto the floor making a bump! with its footsteps. “Ren! My dad’s home, try not to make a disturbance.” He whispered loud enough to get its attention. “I’m sorry.” It responded, and began to pace softly around the floor of Salem’s room. Out of paranoia, Salem tiptoed over to his door and locked it. He looked back at Renegade, still pacing, silver hair flopping over its forehead. Salem can’t just have this opportunity here and NOT squeeze some information out of it. “You’re obviously troubled, why don’t you tell me what’s the matter?”

“You go first.” Salem laughed just out of confusion. “I’m fine, I don’t have that much to say!” “Yes, you do.” “I might talk if you promise not to act like a freak and leave immediately if I start to question you…” Renegade turned away from Salem, arms still crossed, looking down, closing its eyes slowly. It looked sick. It looked damaged. The thought of something like that happening to this piece of space junk nearly gave Salem the power to kill. Salem walked with conviction up to Renegade, tugged its left arm toward him, and looked it in the eye. “Ren, are you okay?” Renegade tugged back and turned around, holding its position like a stubborn animal. Salem didn’t know how to react. “Why are you resisting me??? Stop pulling back!?” Renegade didn’t move. “Are you hiding something?” Well, it made sense. Why else might Renegade be keeping its arms waist level and not moving? It made a mechanical hiss and a distressed expression. “Ren. Turn around.” Renegade looked as if it was ashamed of itself, but complied. “Move your arms.” He commanded. Renegade made more upset hissing and whirring, but then did as it was told.

When it moved its arms, Salem saw visible tears around the waist in the hoodie it was wearing, and some strings drawn out of the pants as well. He was at a complete and total loss for words. His head filled with heat and looked up at Renegade’s eyes and face. There were patternless scratches on and chips in the fleshy part of its face, difficult to notice from afar, but now that he saw them, it was the only thing he COULD see. His heart quivered in his chest with fear and anguish. “Salem, I don’t think I’m safe up there anymore.” Renegade spoke in its typical soft monotone.

The back of Salem’s eyes were hot and filled with tears. “I…” “It’s okay. I have to go now. I’ll miss you dearly.” Renegade moved swiftly to the window that was already open a crack, pushed it, and leaped out into the night before Salem could react. He ran to the window and leaned out. “Ren… Renegade! No! Promise me you’ll be okay! Promise me!” He choked out the window, voice cracking as he spoke. He got no response, but saw a magenta flare in the darkness. It started small, but rapidly got larger, and then shot into the sky like a firework. Salem gritted his teeth and clenched his fists as he watched the flare get further and further away, until it was indiscernible. He stood by the window and felt the ache of sorrow and worry in his throat. Blinking in teardrops, he stepped away.

He sat on his bed as a feeling of pure, unmistakable exhaustion set over him. Not even bothering to close his window all the way, he laid down. He brought his hands up to his face and looked outside. Not doing, not speaking, not even thinking. The room felt dark to him once again and he fell into a state of complete lethargy.

In the following few moments, he checked his phone as always done before bed. There was one message, and it was from Cambria, which must have come in while he was asleep earlier.

[4:10 PM] salem: I just dont know where we’re going. I dont know what you want, I dont know what I want. To be quite honest a lot of stuff has been going on in my life right now that I’m not sure that I’m ready to share. I think right now I would really like some space. Maybe I’ll have more to say later

[4:22 PM] circuit: if you say so. i think about you a lot. sometimes it makes me wonder, what does it take to happen to make a person so cynical?

He read it. He read it twice. It meant nothing. Maybe that just proves her point. Maybe it wasn’t even worth thinking about. He dropped his phone and removed his glasses, and allowed the fault of his own cynicism to take the night over. Maybe she’s right after all.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks. leave a comment or some other form of validation if you like it, i'd love that. otherwise you can just follow me on tumblr B) http://8bitfantasy.tumblr.com


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